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Welcoming all of the memories that are gathered from my mind. Becoming a part of one that is easily forgotten mentally. Across a spectrum of stars that fill up the whole sky it's just after midnight. Being the void in my own life, my eyes find the moonlight as I break down my life. I found out nothing beyond stress and heartache. I try not to think of the pain. What does it matter? My brain is filled with doubt I can't ever sort out. And I think it's insane how I can't hold a smile when this is what to expect when giving yourself away. I'm doing all that I can to decipher a sudden lack of my meaning. Was I ever true to myself? It's not that I cannot find a way to accept this change. Change will no longer accept me, and that's the way it's gotta be. Breaking down the walls of my mind that I've always found to be a personal barricade that I made so my thoughts would never leave. I can sense I'm not alone. I am now dead inside my own mind cannot revive all what I've lost. I learned to let myself down. I am not through. I'm not through.


from Lapse, released May 12, 2015



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